Dive

Dive

You asked me

to jump.

I'm standing

at the edge.

Looking down.

The water…

deep.

Dark.

I can't see

the bottom.

My hands

are shaking.

You're already in.

Treading water.

Smiling up at me.

"Come on,"

you say.

Like it's easy.

Like I haven't drowned before.

Love is just drowning

with someone who promises

to pull you up

but might forget.

I want to.

God,

I want to.

But my feet

won't move.

Last time

I jumped…

I hit rocks.

Not water.

Rocks.

And everyone wondered

why I was so broken

when I climbed back up.

You're still waiting.

Still smiling.

"Trust me,"

you say.

And I want to scream…

Trust isn't the problem.

The problem is

I've already decided

to jump.

I'm just terrified

of how much

it's going to hurt

when I hit.

The bravest thing I've ever done

is love someone

after loving destroyed me.

My toes curl

over the edge.

One more second.

One more breath.

You reach up…

as if you could catch me

from down there.

As if that's how this works.

I close my eyes.

And I

jump.

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